Chapter 59: Decisions, decisions

When Mary saw Joe her heart leapt. She tried to keep the joy out of her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
   "I...I don't know," Joe stammered. "I had to. Couldn't stay away. Something told me I had to come."
   Mary: "Well, you're here. So now what?"
   Joe: "I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead. I just knew I had to find you. The baby..."
   Mary: "What about it?"
   Joe: "That was part of what the voice told me."
   Mary: "The voice?"
   Joe: "A dream...or something. It said take care of the baby; don't be afraid."
   Mary was stunned. "I hear voices too; dreams too; terrible dreams."
   Joe: "What are your dreams about?"
   Mary: "Save the child. Evil forces seek his life."
   Joe: "You mean you want to have the baby?"
   Mary: "I don't know. What would I do with a baby? How could I care for it?"
   Joe: "Maybe it's best to get rid of it."
   Mary: "I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to do," Mary wailed. "I've been thinking, but the more I think the more confused I get."
   Joe: "What does Brother Holloway say?"
   Mary: "He's no help. He tries to be. Just says it's up to me. My decision. My body. -- But what about her body? Doesn't she have a body too? A soul?" Mary had already been thinking in terms of a girl; someone she could relate to; someone who could understand her.
   "I don't know," Joe mumbled. He had been only dimly aware of the abortion debate, and only in the abstract: "choice;" "woman's own body;" "viability;" "murder;" "right to life." It was a different thing, now that it was impacting him directly. "I don't know," he repeated. "What is life?" It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. Simpler just to go back to the way things were -- but could they ever go back? He wished he could just wipe it all away. But there was Mary. And there was that bulge in her stomach. It wasn't going away. Hard to believe that bulge was a person.
   "I just came for you," Joe said. "I had to."
   "We...I have to decide," Mary said. "Have to."
   Joe hung his head and said nothing.

Chapter 58: A break

Joe was exhausted, mind wandering. At the end of his rope. He didn't see any way of continuing. His parents were sending the police after him. On his remaining fumes of gas he drove into a dark corner of town. He found a lonely alleyway inhabited by drunks and homeless. They didn't seem to be a threat. Joe crawled in the back seat, locked the doors and fell asleep. [Go to her Joe. Don't be afraid. Accept the babe as your own. "Go to her." "Go to her." "But how? Where? Tell me where."] Suddenly, Joe startled out of a deep sleep, terrified. At first he didn't know the reason. Then he became aware of a loud, repeated banging on the window. He struggled to open his eyes, trying to wake up from a leaden sleep. The pounding continued. Joe's mouth refused to make a sound. Slowly he managed to sit up. He rubbed his eyes. Pressed against the glass was a bearded, dirty face.
   "Wh...what do you want?" Joe managed to stammer. The face didn't answer, but a dirty hand pounded on the window again. "Go away," Joe said. More pounding. "Stop hitting my window!" Joe ordered. The face ignored him. Joe didn't know what to do. He felt trapped. He couldn't get over the front seat and drive away, and he was afraid to open the door. The man pounding on his window was obviously drunk.
   At last a tall figure appeared in the shadowy darkness behind the drunk. The man gently put a hand on the drunk's shoulder. "Come now, Slick. What's going on? What's all the banging about?" He moved the drunk to one side and peered into Joe's car.
   Brother Holloway/Glubwart immediately recognized Joe from the bus stop and from his study of the Mary case files. Brother Holloway/Glubwart was not happy. The Underworld had worked hard to eliminate Joe from Mary's life. He was too supportive, too likely to turn her toward the Enemy. That stupid Demondra! She would pay for this failure! We gave her a body to tempt any young human male, and what does she do? Can't even snag a gem with the oldest temptation in the book. A sudden chill ran down Glubwart's back -- how did the brat find us? I took care to cover our tracks. The Enemy must have led him here. Glubwart's brain teemed with calculations -- how to handle this unexpected situation?
   Glubwart tried to pull himself together. "Don't mind Slick, young man," he called through the closed window. "He's harmless. -- It just so happens, you parked your car on his bed. He considers this his spot."
   With "Slick" moved safely out of the way, Joe felt brave enough to open the door and get out.
   "Can I help you, young man? Pardon me, but this is not the place for a young man like yourself."
   "I'm looking for a girl," Joe said. Joe had not noticed Glubwart at the bus stop. He had been focused on Mary.
   "Aren't we all?" Brother Holloway/Glubwart joked. "--Pardon me -- that's a common, silly joke around here."
   "A particular girl -- Mary Parker," Joe said.
   Brother Holloway/Glubwart's mind worked frantically. [I can't afford to deny she is here. The best I can do is stall, hope he will go away.] "...Mary Parker...let me think. I can't recall that name right away."
   "I've been going to all the shelters in town. That's why I stopped here," Joe said. "May I talk to the residents?"
   [He might remember me from the bus station; better come clean.] "Let me introduce myself. I'm Brother Holloway, operator of this progressive establishment. Mary Parker...Mary Parker...Of course! Now I remember. I brought her here myself."

Chapter 57: Call home

Dallas is a big place, Joe was finding out. He started asking questions at shelters for homeless, unwed mothers and battered wives. Nothing. All alone in a big city, no money, Joe was getting desperate. He slept in his car. When his potato chips and chocolate chip cookies ran out, he swallowed his pride along with meals from soup kitchens. After a week, he finally called home.
   "Where are you? How are you? Do you know what you've put us through? We're going crazy. We called the police. Everyone's looking for you!" Joe's mom let her terror and anger spill out.
   Joe waited. There was nothing else he could do. When she was finally finished, he stammered, "I...I thought you would try to stop me."
   "You're damn right!" his father bellowed in the background. "Come back here right now!"
   "I'm sorry. This is something I have to do." Joe didn't recognize his own voice saying that. He couldn't believe he was standing up to his parents.
   "We're calling the police."
   Joe's mother was screaming and crying. His father was shouting. Joe hung up the phone.

Chapter 56: Decision

Joe was more confused than ever. He got in his car and drove around town thinking. He went to Hungry Jim's. He went to the corner drugstore where the gang always stopped for ice cream. He went by the high school and sat in the football stadium alone. He drove out into the country, then out to the old railroad bridge. Then he just drove and drove, no idea where he was heading; mind racing, no idea where mind was headed. Out on the highway -- tall pines on either side -- past the old locomotive; on and on.
   When Joe's mind stopped spinning he was astonished to see that he was far west of home, headed for Mississippi. Time to stop kidding himself. He was heading for Dallas, heading for Mary.

Chapter 55: The merits of patience

Mary was confused, alone with her thoughts. She had never been to church in her life, but living in the South, much of the Christian faith superimposed itself on her on a subconscious level. She had the distinct feeling that abortion was somehow wrong, but here was a man of the cloth, a charismatic speaker, who apparently had no strong opposition to the idea. She decided to ask Brother Holloway/Glubwart for advice.
   "Yes, come in." Brother Holloway/Glubwart looked up from the tattered black book he was reading. He peered at Mary over his spectacles. "What can I do for you, child?"
   "I...I need some advice."
   Glubwart fought to keep the triumph from his face (I was right to hold back -- let her come to me). "Please sit down, dear. That's what I'm here for."
   Mary sat for long minutes, her head bowed. Glubwart did not push her, but waited patiently.
   "I don't know what to say," she said finally.
   "Let me help you. You're wondering what to do about your pregnancy."
   "Yes. I've always sort of heard that it was a sin."
   "--Terminating, you mean," Brother Holloway/Glubwart said helpfully.
   "Yes. But Brother Sebastian ..."
   "What did he tell you?" Brother Holloway/Glubwart said, a little too abruptly. He instantly regretted his mistake, and softened his tone. "There are many differences of opinion, child, even among the faithful."
   "He seems to think it's OK. -- At least, that's the impression I got," Mary said.
   Brother Holloway/Glubwart nodded gravely, his brow furrowed, pensive. When he didn't say anything, Mary continued, "Isn't it like killing?"
   "What do you think is best for you?" Brother Holloway/Glubwart asked.
   "I don't know. I'm so confused."
   "It's your body, dear. You must choose what's best for you, for your health. For your mental health, as well as physical."
   "I don't know. I just don't know," Mary whined.
   "Calm yourself, dear. You are among friends. Think about your future. You are a young girl. How would you manage another mouth to feed?" Glubwart paused. He didn't want to appear to be pushing her toward a decision.
   "So...so...you agree with Brother Sebastian?"
   "No need to decide right away," Brother Holloway/Glubwart said. "These things have a way of working themselves out. Think about it. I think after the proper reflection, you will have a clearer perspective on your choice. You are a strong woman. You will make the right decision about what's best for you. Come and see me anytime. My door is always open."
   "Thank you," Mary mumbled. She left Brother Holloway/Glubwart's office more confused than ever.

Chapter 54: A message

For the thousandth time, Joe turned over in his head what he should do about Mary. Go or stay. Stay or go. If I do this, then...if I don't then...His life was on rails. It had momentum. It seemed impossible that anything could derail it. And yet --. Suddenly he was jolted out of his reverie. It took a moment to realize it was an incessant hammering on the door. He went and opened it. Polly stood there.
   "I rang," she said. "Nobody answered."
   "Dad's at work and Mom is out shopping," Joe said. "Sorry -- I didn't hear."
   "I don't know what I'm doing here," Polly said. "Something made me come." Joe said nothing. "It's Mary," Polly said. "Something's wrong. -- Besides the obvious, I mean. Something else. Something dark. I don't know. I just feel it." Joe still said nothing. "Like I said -- I don't know what I'm doing here -- why I should care. Why you should care. I just know she needs help. If we don't, who?"
   "How?" Joe finally muttered. "I don't even know where she went."
   "I asked some questions at the bus station," Polly said. "She was headed west. I think Dallas."
   "Dallas is a big place," Joe said.
   "Like I said; why should you care?" Polly turned and left Joe standing there with a large hollow space where his stomach should have been.

Chapter 53: Turning up the heat

Miriam Harbinger was stoned. Again. But this time it was different. Something inside her felt deliciously wicked. Her husband had left her after the last in a long list of tawdry affairs. Her current boyfriend and father of their 3-month-old baby girl, whom they had named, "Baby," was out on the street trying to secure another hit of their favorite drug.
   Miriam and her boyfriend, who called himself "Steve," had been fighting over drugs, money, and what to do about "Baby." Steve wanted to get rid of the bulky, cumbersome burden that got in the way of drugs and sex with its constant crying. "All that crappy creature thinks about is itself," he shrieked at Miriam. "I told you to take your pill, told you to get rid of it. Now if you don't get rid of it, I'll get rid of you. One of these days I'm gone."
   Miriam had been through many boyfriends before, but "Steve" was especially adept at getting drugs. She didn't want to lose him. She took an extra sniff of the swirling smoke, and things began to swirl within her.
   Her mother had always badgered her about cooking. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" she told Miriam a thousand times. Miriam was sick of hearing it. So she decided to cook. She went to the oven and opened the door. She removed the old clothes and shoes crammed inside. Then she went and picked up a squirming bundle. She shoved it in the oven and shut the door. She set the oven on 350 degrees. Then she went and breathed in deeply, taking in all the fumes she could hold. By the time her baby began screaming, Miriam Harbinger was already dead.
   Sizzlewaithe's report was music to Screwtape's ears. He reached for the phone and called Glubwart. "While you're out chasing one girl, Sizzlewaithe is turning in real results," Screwtape snarled. "Are you going to let yourself be down staged by an upper demon?"
   Brother Holloway/Glubwart did not take the bait. He knew Screwtape was just trying to draw him off the case so he could take all the credit. Project Sugarloaf was "cake in the oven" (the Underworld's expression that corresponded to the human "pie in the sky." This Mary thing had real significance. He let Screwtape rave on, then quietly asked, "Are you ordering me off the case? He knew a direct order would put Screwtape's own head on the chopping block. He still had the advantage. Screwtape slammed down the phone.