Chapter 103: The smell of success

Screwtape was as close to being happy as an underworld lord could ever be. Jewels were flowing into the Chief’s insatiable maw faster than ever. Project Sugarloaf was again making strides. Drug addiction, gambling debts, and therefore bankruptcies, divorces, suicides and murders, were all up. Snakefoot was doing an admirable job turning the twins to his side. After so many failures, he was really making progress. “Under my leadership,” Screwtape boasted to the Chief. “If I hadn’t made an example of that idiot Glubwart, he never would have felt the heat; never would have succeeded,” Screwtape bragged. Snakefoot had managed to separate them from that troublesome Mary creature. The male nuisance, her miserable husband, was no longer a threat. Screwtape was beginning to feel that a showdown was coming -- a climax in the eternal struggle -- and for the first time, he felt that the underworld had the advantage. How long; how many centuries had he toiled, always thwarted, always beaten by the enemy. This time it would be different. This time Screwtape would lead his legions to victory against the big bully.

Chapter 102: In league with

Jerry had been quiet and moody -- more moody than usual -- over the past few weeks. “What’s bothering you?” Joey asked.

   “I’ve been thinking. Thinking about what that preacher said. Thinking maybe we should join him. What happened to us shouldn’t happen. We should try to stop it.”

   Snakefoot/Stalwart had been active in the community, making speeches, recruiting, appearing on radio and TV talk shows. His fiery brand of rhetoric created quite a stir. Many pro-life advocates were drawn to him. His name became anathema in pro-choice circles.

   The twins began following him. They naturally attracted attention to themselves. At one event, a very pretty brunette approached Joey. “I’ve noticed you at several of Bill’s appearances,” she said. “You seem less enthusiastic than your brother.”

   Jerry turned around sharply. “We are always together. -- In more ways than one,” he said sharply.

   “I didn’t mean to imply anything,” the girl said. “My name’s Ruth. What’s yours?”

   “Joey.”

   “Jerry.”

   “What do you think of Bill?” she asked.

   “We’re interested,” Jerry said.

   “I think he’s wonderful,” Ruth gushed. “So giving. So dedicated. Do you know anything about his mission?”

   “Anti-abortion? I should think so. We were aborted,” Jerry said.

   Ruth gasped, “Oh my g… Oh my goodness! Is that what caused? Is that what…”

   Joey and Jerry gave a brief, cold nod.

   “Oh my g.. goodness,” Ruth repeated. “You must come and meet Bill!” She grabbed Joey by the arm and pulled the twins in the direction of the outdoor stage. They maneuvered through the crowd around behind the stage. When Snakefoot/Stalwart finished his speech, he turned and headed down the steps. Ruth brought the twins to meet him.

   “Bill,” she said. “I’ve got someone you’ve got to meet! These gentlemen are victims of abortion!”

   “Really!” Snakefoot/Stalwart was interested. “Tell me your story, gentlemen.”

   “Not much to tell,” Jerry said. Our mom tried to have us aborted. We survived.”

   “Yes. I see the scars -- physical and mental,” Snakefoot/Stalwart commiserated. “We need you. Will you join us? You can help, better than anyone, to expose the horrors of abortion.”

   “What would we have to do?” Jerry asked.

   “Come with us. Tell your story,” Snakefoot/Stalwart said.

   “I don’t know,” Joey said. “We’ve never been interested in publicity. We prefer our privacy.”

   “I know it will require courage and dedication on your part,” Snakefoot/Stalwart said. “You have to decide if you are willing to pay the price.”

   “We’ll let you know,” the twins said.

   Ruth left with the twins. They did not see her wink at Snakefoot/Stalwart. “I can’t tell you how much I admire your courage,” Ruth told Joey. “Many would not think of coming forward, making a public spectacle of themselves, in order to save countless millions of innocent babes.”

   “We haven’t decided yet,” Joey said.

   “I know, but …” Ruth smiled broadly. “I have a feeling. I can feel your character, your bravery, your commitment.” Ruth leaned in close to Joey and kissed him; at first on the cheek, sliding around to his mouth as she embraced him. She sighed and held her body tightly to Joey’s. Jerry smiled and looked away.

   “Tell me all about yourself -- selves,” Ruth said. “You’re so exciting! I can’t imagine being that close to anyone.”

   For the umpteenth time, Joey said, “He’s always there when I need a helping hand.” Ruth smiled and held Joey’s hand.

   “What do you do when the two of you disagree on something?” she asked.

   “He’s my brother,” Joey said. “I’d follow him anywhere.” Ruth laughed gaily at Joey’s wit.

   “How do you arrive at decisions though?” she persisted.

   “We have no problem. Two heads are better than one,” Joey said. Ruth laughed even louder. “You are so cute!” she said.

   Ruth didn’t want the evening to end. The three went out to dinner, enjoying drinks and each other’s company. “We should be getting back to the dorm,” Joey finally said.

   “Oh, no. Come home with me,” Ruth pleaded. “I want to talk some more.” She pressed Joey’s hand.

   Ruth’s apartment was comfortable but not lavish. She made the twins some more drinks. She prodded Joey to tell her more. He told her about the close calls with the bear and snake, the snowstorm and pneumonia. “We don’t remember all of it exactly,” Joey said. “We just know what Mom told us.”

   “You’ve really been through a lot,” Ruth sighed. She held Joey close. “I’m feeling a little woozy,” she said. She kissed Joey full on the lips and fumbled with his clothes. She led the twins to her bed, slipped off her dress and pulled Joey after her. He did not feel her talons and scales.

---

   For the next several months the twins toured with Snakefoot/Stalwart as the star attraction of the show. At the end of Snakefoot/Stalwart’s emotional speech, he would turn and shout, “...and now see the evil face of the abortion industry!” The crowd would swoon and sob upon seeing the twins.

   The twins had left the Salvation Army and got their own apartment. They were receiving a modest salary from Snakefoot/Stalwart’s foundation. Ruth was constantly by their side.

   After one particularly emotional performance, Snakefoot/Stalwart pulled the twins aside. “It’s not enough,” Snakefoot/Stalwart said. “The killers are malicious, brutal, bloodthirsty animals. We’re in a war, but only one side is fighting. What’s the casualty list? Take a look -- millions upon millions to nothing -- well, practically nothing. They’ve got to learn there’s a price to pay. They cannot go on killing with impunity. They’ve got to suffer real consequences; real losses.”

   Jerry was intrigued. “What do you suggest?”

   “I have connections,” Snakefoot/Stalwart said. “You have more reason than most to want to strike a blow for our side. I can put you in touch with the right people.”

   “What’s the plan?” Jerry asked.

   “A bomb. They’ve got to take casualties,” Snakefoot/Stalwart said.

   “I don’t know,” Joey said.

   “We’re in,” Jerry said.

---

   That night in bed, after Joey and Ruth were finished, Jerry pulled Ruth to himself. “What are you doing?” Ruth asked. “It’s like my dear brother says,” Jerry answered. “Two heads are better than one.” Ruth giggled.

Chapter 101: New alliance

Things were going much better for Screwtape’s empire. [What did I tell you,] he reassured himself. [These things always go in cycles. It’s always brightest before eternal dark. Trust in the Chief and all will be well.]

   Jerry was right. There were charities ready to help the twins. They found lodging with a branch of the Salvation Army. The director, Sam Applewhite, was a retired minister; a large, big-boned, powerful man with hair as white as snow. He demanded moral behavior and regular attendance at chapel services. Jerry rebelled. “What has God ever done for us?” he asked.

   “We don’t allow blasphemy in this place,” Applewhite rebuked him. “If you can’t follow our rules, you can’t stay here.”

   Jerry decided to put up with this “nonsense” for now. “What you need is to find some direction, some meaning in your lives,” Applewhite told the twins. “Something to devote your lives to. Something that arouses your passion, your sense of accomplishment, belonging.”

   “Where we belong is a freak show,” Jerry snorted. “You know of any circus in town?”

   “God has a plan for everyone,” Applewhite said. “A freak show is not for you and your brother. You have too much intellect, too much self respect.”

----

   “I miss Mom and Dad,” Joey said after a few weeks. “Can’t we go back?”

   “Go back to people who tried to kill you? Are you crazy?”

   “It just doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t fit. Mom loves us; I know it. I feel it.”

   “Feel this--” Jerry punched Joey’s arm hard. “We’re the only ones we can trust.”

   That evening there was a guest speaker at chapel. A fiery young man with flaming red hair and piercing eyes strode to the podium. He leaned his lanky frame over the pulpit, right arm extended. “We are in a WAR, dear ones!” he shouted without prelude or introduction. “You, the faithful, are soldiers in that war! It’s a war being waged against the most innocent, the helpless -- the unborn. Millions have been slaughtered in the name of ‘choice’! Such an innocent-sounding word to cover ugly, brutal reality. Do you know what goes on inside those chambers of horror? I won’t offend your ears with a description. It is too horrible to talk about, isn’t it? Too horrible to show it -- But not too horrible to do it! To allow it! I seek your help to oppose this evil. Who will join me in the fight?”

   When he finished his oration, Snakefoot, alias Bill Stalwart, looked directly at the twins.

Chapter 100: Rebellion

“We’re leaving. Don’t try to stop us. Don’t try to follow us,” Jerry said.

   “We can’t let you go. We love you,” Mary cried.

   “You can’t stop us. If you try, we’ll tell the cops you abused us. -- And it would be the truth!”

   “Joey -- do you agree with him?” Mary pleaded. Joey bowed his head and said nothing.

   “Where will you go? How can you live? You will need money,” Mary said.

   “We’ll manage. There’s always a way. There are plenty of charities to help freaks like us,” Jerry said. His voice was thick and choked with disgust.

   Mary couldn’t stop crying for three weeks.

Chapter 99: Confrontation

"How is school going, boys?" Mary asked. The family was sitting at the dinner table. Joey started to answer, but Jerry elbowed him in the stomach and glared at Mary.

   "What is it?" Mary asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Joey bowed his head. Jerry continued to defiantly stare at his mother.

   "Answer your mother," Joe said.

   Still nothing.

   "Can't you tell me what's wrong?" Mary begged.

   "Nothing," Jerry said at last. "Forget it."

---

   "I'm worried," Mary told Joe later that night. "I've never seen the twins act like that. Jerry's always been more on edge, but tonight even Joey seemed angry. I don't know what to make of it."

   "Teenagers," Joe said. "I can relate to that. I guess you can, too."

   "Yes, I can. That's what scares me. And it's even worse for them."

   "I don't know," Joe answered. "At least they have each other. You had no one."

---

   Tensions grew over the next few years; bad behavior, attempts to maintain discipline, angry comebacks, sulking, punishment, acting out. It came to a head one day arguing about homework.

   "When are you going to do your homework?" Mary demanded.

   "What do you care?" was Jerry's retort.

   "I care about you. I'm your mother. I want the best for you. You won't get the best out of life if you don't give your best." No answer.

   "That's it!" Mary said firmly. "I'm taking up your cell phones until that homework is done."

   Jerry exploded, "You care. Ha! You care. You care so much you tried to kill us! "Mary turned white. Her face was completely drained of blood. “That’s not true!” she screamed. “...that is,...I mean…”

   “You can’t deny it, can you?” Jerry was relentless. Mary began weeping uncontrollably. “I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to!” she wailed.

   "Son, you don't know the stress your Mom was under. She got mixed up with some bad men -- wolves in sheeps' clothing. Men--"

   "Men like you!" Jerry shouted.

   "Don't say that about your father!" Now Mary was angry. "He saved you! Saved me!"

   “Saved us for what -- this?” Jerry sneered. “You should have let us die!”

Chapter 98: Revelation

"Give it back!" Little Alice was close to tears. The twins had just turned 13. Jerry had snatched her favorite doll and was holding it over her head. He lowered it just enough so she could reach it, but when she tried, he jerked it out of reach.

   “You’re mean! I’ll tell Mom!” she wailed.

   “You tattletale. You’re Mom’s pet, we know. Just ‘cause you’re so purrrty!”

   “And you’re ugly! She loves me! Know why? I know. I know...I know why … why you’re ugly!”

   Jerry dropped the doll and grabbed Alice’s arm, hard. He twisted it until she screamed. His face hard and grim, his voice choked with rage, he shouted, “What do you know? You better tell us!”

   Alice’s mouth contorted to a smug frown. “She hates you! She tried to kill you! Tried to kill you! But it didn’t work! That’s why you’re ugly!”

   Jerry gripped Alice’s arm even tighter. “What do you mean?” he roared. “You’re lying! How do you know?”

   “Let me go!” Alice wailed.

   “You’re lying!”

   “Am not!”

   “Prove it. How do you know?”

   “I heard them. Mom and Dad talking. Some word I didn’t understand. They went to a doctor; tried to stop you; kill you.”

   Jerry let Alice’s arm fall. Joey started to sniffle. “Stop it!” Jerry said. He punched Joey’s arm.

Chapter 97: Crisis

Alarm bells were ringing in the Underworld. Screwtape's message box was full. Up to his horns in the business of death, he could not escape the incessant ringing of his phone. All the complaints were the same: "We're going to heaven in a handbasket! The well of souls is drying up! We can't turn anyone! Nobody's interested in drugs anymore! Gambling! Alcohol! Teens are even giving up sex! Hell help us!"

   As usual, the cowardly demons were exaggerating; terrified, looking for an excuse to cover their incompetence, save their miserable scale-covered hides. Things weren't as bad as they made out, but they were bad enough. In all categories "sales" were down. The illegitimate birth rate plunged.       Project Sugarloaf had stagnated. After a promising start, drug addiction to the new strains had leveled off. Screwtape couldn't account for it, and it was making him nervous. Snakefoot reported no progress finding the twins. It was as if the earth had opened up and swallowed them.

   Screwtape decided to call an emergency meeting of low demons.

Chapter 96: Settling in

Things were going unusually well for the Langston family. After their many trials, they were relieved and happy to settle into a "normal," boring routine.

   The twins were learning fast. Their teachers were impressed. They had overcome the frustration at the difficulty of everyday chores that are so easy for others: getting dressed, taking showers. They were making friends in the neighborhood. They were used to jokes at their expense. Joey was adept at taking the sting out of them.

   Whenever they met a girl, the twins would compete for her attention. Joey did it with humor. “We’re very close,” he joked to a striking brunette. “...inseparable, in fact.” When she laughed gaily, Jerry pinched him fiercely. Joey pretended not to notice.

   All the little girls gravitated toward Jerry, who was a natural leader. He was the one who decided what games to play and he was the one who made up the rules. When one cute young thing asked Joey if he resented Jerry always bossing him around, Joey shrugged, winked, and said, “He’s my brother -- I’d follow him anywhere!” She laughed. Jerry punched his arm, hard.

   The one topic they avoided, the one thing they never joked about, was the disfiguration. If someone brought it up, no matter how politely or sympathetically, they received only cold stares from both twins. Their mother never mentioned it. The topic was an unspoken taboo in the Langston home.

   The twins decided to set up a lemonade stand to raise some extra money. Joey would be the executive and Jerry would be marketing. This would be no ordinary lemonade stand, they agreed. They would offer treats to go with several flavors of beverage. They would prepare special orders upon request.

   "We've got to have a name for our company," Jerry said. "Two Heads are Better Than One," Joey cried without a moment's hesitation.

   Joey arranged the menu and stocked the stand. Jerry printed circulars to pass out in the neighborhood. His charm attracted customers, especially female.

   One day an exceptionally attractive brunette came up to the stand. "Hello," she said. "I'm new in the neighborhood."

   "Have a lemonade -- on the house," Jerry said.

   That was the start of a long line of Jerry's admirers. Rather than be put off by the continual presence of Joey, the girls seemed to view it as a badge of honor to date a "handicapped" boy -- although neither Jerry nor Joey considered themselves handicapped, and quickly made it clear to anyone who hinted that they were. Each considered it an advantage to be permanently attached to his best friend and brother. "Most people, if they need a helping hand, have to look on the end of their arm," Joey was fond of saying. "I've got that beat times two."

   As the boys got older, going on dates was no problem. Joey made himself inconspicuous, unhearing, unseeing, much as a gentleman's gentleman in the upper class. Seldom did it work the other way. Jerry was the popular one, although they did on occasion go on double dates, when Jerry's girl had a friend who did not have a date.

   One sunny day sitting outside an ice cream shop, one of Jerry's admirers, one of his favorites, asked the fatal question: "Look -- I know you're sensitive about it, and I don't want to cause you pain..oh, I'm saying it all wrong. I'm you're friend. Can't you tell me about the scar?"

   The pretty girl received the same cold stares.

   Later that same evening, with the family all seated around the dinner table, Jerry confronted his mother. "What about that?" He demanded, pointing at the scar. "You never told us. We want to know."

   Mary gasped, terrified. Her fear showed clearly on her face. But in the next instant she recovered. "It was an accident," she mumbled. "...At birth. It was difficult. The doctors did what they could. We almost lost you both." She hugged her treasures and cried. "And we're so glad to have you."

Chapter 95: Promotion?

A much chastened Snakefoot sat fearfully in front of Screwtape’s imposing desk. His former towering ego and cheeky bravado had abandoned him. Screwtape let him stew for minutes, while his head was buried in underworld progress reports. Finally he looked up.

   “Since the unfortunate demise of your incompetent compatriot, we have an opening for Southeast District Chief,” Screwtape said. “You’re it.”

   Stunned, Snakefoot started to protest. “I...I’m flattered, but --”

   “Spare me the false modesty. Don’t overestimate yourself,” Screwtape interrupted. “Your wishes were not consulted. This is not a reward for your failure. It is a test and a punishment. No other demon wanted this miserable post. Fail again and you are toast,” Screwtape added, enjoying the rhyme.

   As Snakefoot rose to go, Screwtape said, “One more thing -- your top mission is this Mary/twin affair. Even though they are no doubt physically out of your district, this whole debacle started in the Southeast. So it’s still your responsibility. I don’t need to remind you what will happen to you if you fail to bring it to a successful conclusion.”

Chapter 94: Judgement day

Joe got a job on a fishing boat. It was hard and dangerous work, but the pay was good, even for someone with no experience. At last they could begin to climb out of their financial hole.

   Joey's cough became less and less pronounced. "Maybe miracles do happen," Mary said. Local school officials were very welcoming and helpful to the special needs family. They provided discreet, separate lessons and even helped Joe and Mary find a small house in a friendly neighborhood. The neighbors were open and warm, but not intrusive or gossipy. They settled in without fanfare; just another family.

---

   “...You WHAT?” Screwtape was screaming at the top of his voice.

   “We lost track of them, sir,” Glubwart had to report.

   “I want to see you -- both of you -- in my office immediately.”

   Within hours Snakefoot and Glubwart were seated in uncomfortable chairs in Screwtape’s waiting room. Medieval scenes of demons and hellish tortures covered the walls, letting the summoned get an inkling of what could await them inside Screwtape’s chambers of horror. Snakefoot and Glubwart knew they were condemned demons. They could feel Screwtape’s talons ripping their flesh.

   “I knew we shouldn’t have pushed them too hard,” Snakefoot hissed.

   “Don’t try to put all the blame on me,” Glubwart whined.

   Screwtape let them stew in their agony of fear. After an interminable period, Desiree Caliente appeared in a low-cut, tight-fitting red dress. “Mr. Screwtape will see you now,” she said. Snakefoot and Glubwart searched her face for some clue to their fate. They found none.

   Screwtape's face wore a blank expression. Some of his brash overlings risked his wrath by calling him "inscrewtable." Neither Snakefoot nor Glubwart were in the mood for dangerous puns.

   "Have a seat, gentlemen," Screwtape said. "Let's get straight to the point -- both your heads should be rolling around in my stomach right now."

   "It was a good plan!" Snakefoot cried. "I found them. This incompetent fool lost them with his meddling."

   "Snakefoot's plan was going nowhere," Glubwart interjected. "They were comfortable. They had to be pressured."

   "And your 'pressure' pushed them right off the radar, right out of sight! They must be under the Enemy's protection again!"

   Screwtape enjoyed watching his cowardly demons try to justify their miserable existence. When he at last grew tired of the back and forth recriminations, he raised his hand. "Enough. You're both incompetent asses, deserving of our master's worst tortures and death. Cold shivers ran down Snakefoot’s and Glubwart’s backs.

   After a long, agonizing pause, Screwtape continued. “However, your magnificent, magnanimous underlord has seen fit to grant you wretches undeserved mercy -- contingent, of course, upon MUCH improved performance in the future. You are free to go.”

   Stunned, unbelieving their incredible good fortune, Snakefoot and Glubwart shakily got to their feet. They turned to go.

   “Just kidding,” Screwtape said quietly. “HeeeHah!” His eerie, raucous laugh sent arctic blasts through their guts. Screwtape’s tentacles shot out and wrapped around Glubwart. His agonized, desperate, blood chilling screams reverberated darkly in Screwtape’s torture cell for days. For amusement and for instruction, Screwtape had the screams piped into the nether regions, so underworld creatures could be reminded what fate awaits those who fail their master. At last Screwtape grew tired of playing with Glubwart. He bit off the terrible demon’s head, then swallowed the rest of him whole. The fun with Glubwart aroused Screwtape so much that he rewarded himself with the pleasure of Desiree Caliente’s lush body.

Chapter 93: On the run again

The parting with Marge was painful. "I feel like you was my own kin," she said over and over, wiping her eyes. "Lord go with you."

   The family piled into the car and headed out. It was agreed they would not tell anyone where they were going. Joe and Mary both agreed they could not run away from their debts. "We will send the money, when I can earn it, to Marge. She will deliver it anonymously to the hospital, the landlord, and the utilities," Joe said.

   Joey and Jerry played games, making up the rules as they went along.

   "My super strength smashes your rock face!"

   "But my super stretch just bounces under your super fist."

   "But my cloak of invisibility lets me escape!"

   Little Alice, watching their antics, just smiled and giggled.

   They drove and drove, with no destination in mind. It was as if they were afraid someone or something was listening to their thoughts. When Joe looked up, he saw a sign: Seattle. "Why not?" Joe said. "That's about as far as you can go and still be in the country. Maybe we can disappear better in a big city."

Chapter 92: A test of faith

Joe agreed. "I'm never leaving you again," he said quietly. "We'll make it somehow."

   For the next few weeks Joe spent all day every day searching for a job. No luck. The family's debt grew larger and larger. One day the Dr. Basmati told Mary, "Joey has made progress. We feel he can go home now." His eyes did not seem to believe what his mouth was saying.

   "Is his he that much better, or is our debt that much larger?"

   "Mrs. Langston, I assure you, we would not let Joey go home if we did not think it was best for him," Dr. Basmati said. His face was frozen, but his eyes betrayed an inner pain.

   "Thank you, doctor. I know you've done the best you could for Joey," Mary said.

   Marge was outraged when the family had to return to her trailer. "They cain't jist turn a sick young'n out in the cold like that!"

   Joey was still sick, but seemed to be out of the worst danger.

   One day there was a knock at the door. Mary was stunned to see rhe corpulent Mr. Upright/Glubwart. "We are in incensed by the hospital's callousness," he said. The foundation can help you fight this injustice. Our lawyers can file a lawsuit on your behalf. Your full funding can be restored."

   "...If my husband abandons us," Mary said icily.

   "That would unfortunately be necessary, yes," Upright/Glubwart answered.

    "Good bye, Mr. Upright," Mary said. The door closed in his face.

---

   Another week went by. And another. A month. There was another knock on the door. Mary was only a little surprised to see a thin black man shaking his fist. "Why didn't you trust in the Lord?" He fairly shouted. "The Lord provideth!"

   "We had to seek help," Mary protested. "We had no other way to pay for Joey's care. We don't know what to do now."

   "He clothes the sparrows. Would He not care for His own?"

   "A miracle? I've never had one," Mary said.

   The little black man snorted. "And yet you are here. Among friends. Family. Husband. No miracle?"

   "So what do we do now?" Mary asked. "We have debts. No money. A sick child."

   "You are in danger!" the black prophet croaked. "He leadeth ye out of temptation, on the path of righteousness, for his namesake. You must take Him to a far country! Protect Him!"

   "Him who? I have a husband and two children."

   "Protect Him! Protect Him!"

   "We finally found a stable home here with Marge. Now you're telling us we have to move again? No. We're staying here."

   The little black man appeared two inches taller as his eyes widened. He thundered, "There is immortal danger! Take Him to a far country! The Lord will provide!"

Chapter 91: Pressure

Joey was not improving. Jerry was growing restless; tired of being chained to his sick sibling. Doctors still could not figure out why Jerry remained uninfected. "Very strange for one twin to fall ill, and the other remain healthy. Thank God," Dr. Basmati said to Mary.

   Mary was becoming distrustful of the Two Good Two Be True foundation. They were helpful and paid most of Joey's medical bills, but they seemed too inquisitive, prying into the family's personal life; asking questions about their religious affiliation. "We just want to make sure you have moral support," the too-friendly, peppy young lady said. But something about her did not feel right. For a fleeting instant, her eyes looked reptilian to Mary. Mary blinked and a felt a sudden chill. She looked again, and the woman's eyes were normal.

   In the spring, Marge was able to visit more often. Seeing her adorable baby, Alice, made Mary feel better.

   But the constant pressure to find work was telling on Joe. "Even with Two Good, we're barely making it," Joe told Mary. "I don't like being always in debt, and I don't like being dependent on them to bail us out. Something's fishy about the director. I don't like him." Mary tried to soothe him. He said, "I know. I know. We're stuck. There's nothing we can do about it. -- Not while Joey is sick."

---

   The Two Good Two Be True board of directors were in a meeting. They left strict instructions not to be disturbed. Foundation Director Fred Goodwill, alias Snakefoot, opened the meeting.

   "Status report," Goodwill/Snakefoot said.

   "Subjects are responding well," his partner, Executive Vice President in Charge of Spiritual Affairs, Stephen Upright, alias Glubwart, answered. "We are giving them just enough support to keep them treading water, barely keeping their heads up. They are frustrated. A little more pressure should make them angry and desperate. I recommend, therefore, that we apply additional pressure."

   "What do you propose?" Goodwill/Snakefoot asked.

   "Cut their funding in half," Upright/Glubwart answered. "We've got to separate them. The male is a stabilizing influence. I have tried hard to sideline him."

   "Don't want to push too hard," Snakefoot said. "It's a volatile situation. Anything could happen, not necessarily in our interests."

   "Let me handle it," Glubwart said. He was tired of Snakefoot grabbing all the credit. He wanted to make a coup on his own.

---

   "What's this? Gotta be some mistake!" Joe said.

   "What is it?" Mary asked.

   "Our check -- the check from the foundation -- it's half of what it's supposed to be!"

   "That can't be! Let me see that!" Mary said.

   Joe handed it to her. "See for yourself," he said.

   Mary stared at the numbers, unbelieving. "We've got to go to Two Good. We can't survive on this."

---

   "I'm sorry, I can't help you," the receptionist at Two Good To Be True told Mary. "For complaints about your grant, you will have to see one of the officers.

   "Let me see the director," Mary said. "I have to see the director."

   "The director is very busy, ma'am," the receptionist replied.

   "Let me see somebody! I've got to talk to somebody!"

   "I can try to get you an appointment with Mr. Upright," the receptionist said.

   Three weeks later, Mary was waiting outside "Mr. Upright's" office. The time for her appointment came and went. Mary asked the receptionist, "When may I see Mr. Upright? I have an appointment."

   "Mr. Upright will see you soon," the receptionist said.

    An hour went by. And another. Mary asked again. She received the same answer, "Mr. Upright will see you soon."

    Mary had been sitting there all afternoon. It was getting late. Mary saw the receptionist apparently getting ready to leave for the day. She went up to her again. "I've been waiting all day to see Mr. Upright."

   "I'm sorry," the receptionist said. "Mr. Upright has left for the day."

   The same scenario was repeated on three additional occasions. Mary and Joe were getting more and more desperate. On the fifth attempt, after Mary again waited the whole afternoon, the receptionist said, "Mr. Upright will see you now."

   Mary was led into a large, imposing office lined with rich dark wood. Glubwart appeared as a heavyset, balding, middle-aged man.

   "What can I do for you, Miss..."

   "Mrs. Langston," Mary corrected him.

   "Ah yes. Quite right. Therein lies the problem," Upright/Glubwart said.

   "What do you mean?" Mary asked.

   "About your grant. You're married. We were given wrong information. Our records showed that you were a single mother."

   "Well?" Mary asked when Upright/Glubwart paused.

   "Well, naturally we can't offer the same assistance to someone who has support that we provide for women who have no one to support them."

   "But..." Mary sputtered, "Joe does the best he can. There are no good jobs out there. We can't make it on half of what we have been receiving."

   "I'm very sorry indeed, Mrs. Langston," Upright/Glubwart said in his kindest, sincerest voice. "Those are the rules. If you were single, that would be a different matter. We could restore your full funding."

   Mary didn't have to think. "No!" she said firmly. "I'm not going back to that!"