It was still pitch dark. Mary shivered into her jeans and blouse. She gathered her clothes, toothbrush and comb and stuffed them in an old laundry bag. She eased open her door and crept down the hall, into the living room and up to the front door.
There was nowhere to go, but staying here was impossible.
She turned the knob and opened the door. She walked down the twisted, bramble-encroached dirt driveway leading away from Uncle Jonathan's and back toward the county road. Many times she almost turned around. Branches clutched at her, but she kept plodding on.
At the county road she was able to hitch a ride into town. It was still too early for Joe to be home from school. She was tired. Sit on a park bench to kill time. Time went by so slowly. A police car slowly drove by, making her nervous. She got up and meandered down to the creek bed, where she sat in the shade of a tree. The breeze hinted of an early spring.
Finally it was time. Joe should be home. She made her way to Joe's house. Hesitantly, she went up the front stone steps, halted; onto the wide front porch, halted; to the front screen door. She stopped again, drew a deep breath, and knocked. No one came. Mrs. Langston was usually home. Where could they be?
She had no money. She couldn't go back to Hungry Jim's. She went out behind Joe's house to the wooded area she had fled to before. She waited. She waited some more. She was famished. No breakfast, no lunch.
Finally, she gave in to her hunger. She went back to the Langston house and tried the back screen door. It was unlocked, as all the doors in Centreville were. Mary made her way to the kitchen and found a loaf of bread and a bowl of fruit on the table. She helped herself.
Time dragged. Mary stared at the kitchen wallpaper decorated with country scenes; barns, fields, homesteads, kitchens. The Langston home was well furnished but not ostentatious. It testified to the character of the owners: comfortable, genteel middle class.
After an interminable time, Mary heard the front door. She got up and went into the living room. Mrs. Langston was putting down some packages. She looked up, startled. “Mary! My goodness!”
“Forgive me, Miz Langston. I had nowhere else to go. I was so hungry.”
“What is it, child?”
“I couldn't stay out there any longer.”
“At Jonathan's? No. Joe shouldn't have brought you there in the first place.”
“Is Joe...?”
Miz Langston nodded. “He'll be along directly. I had some shopping to do. Sit down. What can I get you to eat?”
“I ate some of your bread and fruit.”
“That's not enough; let me make you a sandwich.”
“No, thank you.”
“Nonsense. You've got to eat.” Miz Langston busily fixed a roast beef sandwich and watched while Mary ate.
After a brief pause, Miz Langston said, “Tell me all about it, dear.”
“Miz Langston...I can't.”
“I wish you could confide in me.”
A noise at the front door saved Mary from having to answer. It was Joe. Mary ran to him. His mother turned away.
“I couldn't stay there any more,” she wailed. She hugged him hard. Joe was embarrassed. He tried to pull away.
“What's wrong?” he asked.
“I can't...”
Miz Langston noisily cleared her throat. “I'll leave you two alone,” she said, reluctantly. When she was gone, Joe said, “Well?” Mary pulled him outside on the porch.
“I don't know, Joe,” she finally said, after a long silence. “I don't know for sure.”
“You don't know for sure – what?” he demanded.
“Last night – I had a dream...”
“Another dream!” Joe exclaimed.
“If you don't care, what's the point?” Mary said.
“I'm sorry – go ahead.”
“I felt like … like I was being smothered. When I woke up, I heard Uncle Jonathan going down the hall.”
“You mean you think he...he?” Joe stammered.
“I don't know. I only know I couldn't stay there any longer.”
"Where will you? I mean..."
Mary turned away so Joe wouldn't see her quickly wipe away a tear.
"We've got to find a new place for you to stay."
"I've got to go to the bathroom."
When Mary closed the bathroom door, Joe went to his mother. "We've got to let her stay here, Mom."
"What's the matter? What did she say?"
"She said Uncle Jonathan..."
"No. You mean? First Jim and now Jonathan? Joe, look now. Do you honestly think she's so attractive that men can't stay away from her? Maybe she's the one sending signals. Joe -- I know you like her, but...you've got to think about your future. What if she's pregnant? You've got your whole life ahead of you. You don't really know anything about this girl."
"Mom...I think...I think I love her."
"Maybe you do. But you're young yet. Plenty of time to consider. You'll be going to college next year. Meanwhile, she cannot stay here. It would be a scandal."
"But where can she go? We can't just turn her out!"
"Joe -- consider our position, our reputation, our neighbors. We can't have anything to do with her. She can go to the shelter."
"But what about me?"
"You must wait. Wait until this all blows over. Graduate. Go to college. If you still feel the same way then, we can talk."
At that moment, Mary returned from the bathroom, ending their private conversation.
Time froze. No one knew what to say. Mary's open expression found no home in Miz Langston's cool eyes. Joe stared at his shoes. It was Miz Langston who broke the logjam. "Well, Mary," she asked, neither breezily nor sternly, "What will you do now?"
"I...I don't know, Miz Langston. I just don't know."
"Well, let's sit down and think it over," Miz Langston said.
"I've got...No...I think I better go," Mary said. She had to get out of here -- now.
"Mary -- wait!" Joe cried. She brushed past him, hurried out the door and down the front steps. Something -- someone was leading her, guiding her, pushing her.
"Mary -- wait!" Joe started after her, but was held back by his mother's hand on his shoulder.
"Let her go, son," she said. "She has things to sort out; she must do it on her own."
Joe pulled loose from his mother's grasp and ran after Mary.
"Where are you going?" Joe said as he caught up with Mary. He caught her shoulders and turned her around.
"I don't know," she said.
"You just can't go running off with no plan."
"I don't know. I just know I have to go."
"Where will you stay? You've got to tell me."
That did it. Mary had been trying to hold up. Now she broke down, sobbing on Joe's shoulder. She had found a refuge with him, and now the refuge was being closed to her.
"I don't know. I don't know. I can't stay here."
"I can't let you go."
"You can't?" Mary sobbed again. "You have to. There's nothing you can do for me. You're still in school. You have to go to college. You can't have me around your neck."
"That's just where I want you," Joe said.
Mary just shook her head. "It's impossible."
"Why? Kids drop out of high school all the time...get...get married."
"That's not you. For you, it's impossible."
"I can't let you go. I -- I love you."
"You're killing me!" Mary broke down again. Between sobs, she choked, "I...love...you...too!"
"Then stay."
But Mary shook her head again, violently. "I can't. I can't."
Joe saw he was getting nowhere. He eased his grip on her shoulders. "I can't lose you. If I let you go, you have to promise to stay in touch. Let me know where you are; how to find you."
Mary nodded, unable to speak.
"Promise!" Joe demanded.
"I...I promise."
"Listen. Don't go far. There's a shelter here in town, you know. Try there. Let me take you."
But she shook her head again. "I've been on my own for some time. I can take care of myself."
"But I want to take care of you!" Joe cried.
"You're killing me. Don't you know how much I want it? Want you? But I can't. We can't. Not now."
Joe hugged Mary tight, crushing her against his chest. He held her for a long time, increasing the pressure, his face buried in her hair; the scent of her. Finally she pushed back, and he released his bear hug enough for her to wipe away a tear and smile.
"I've got to breathe, you know," she said. Both laughed.
That broke the spell. They stayed that way for an hour, talking as if nothing had happened; talking as if they were not about to be separated, perhaps forever.
When at last it was time to go, Mary said, "OK. I've got to go now."
"Remember your promise," Joe said. "Call me. Write. Whatever."
"I will. I will." Mary freed herself from Joe's grasp. Then he grabbed her once more, hugged and kissed her hard. He thought if held her hard enough, he could hold her forever.
But he couldn't. Mary broke free, turned and headed down the street. Joe stayed rooted, helpless. She turned and waved several times before she got to the corner. She stopped one last time, waved, then she was gone.
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