Mary was drawn toward the handsome young preacher. His eyes roamed around the congregation, making direct eye contact with everyone -- except Mary. She hung on his every word, her face rapt. Finally, near the end of his spiel, he stared directly at Mary, penetrating her with his gaze.
At the end of the sermon she stood up. Without any conscious will of her own, she began moving toward the handsome preacher. She was being pulled by an invisible force. "Your message was...was," she stammered.
"Yes?" Brother Sebastian said.
"Well, it was; I mean,"
"Spoken from the heart?"
"Yes."
"It's my calling. To preach the good news. You can save yourself. Anybody can. It's up to you. It is within your power to change the world. You have to start by changing yourself."
"But how?"Mary asked.
"Listen to me. I can show you," Brother Sebastian intoned. "I sense that you are in trouble; in need of counseling."
"Yes."
"Forgive me: You are with child, but without husband."
"Yes. -- But how did you...?"
"A common enough problem, I assure you. You are not alone. We are here for you."
"I don't know what to do about it'" Mary said.
"You mean, whether to have it or not," Brother Sebastian suggested.
"Yes."
"There are people here to help you -- with any decision you make."
"But -- isn't it a sin?"
"So many get hung up on that word," Brother Sebastian said.
"But you're a minister."
"I am not here to judge you."
"But you should."
"How much time we waste with self incrimination, guilt," Brother Sebastian sighed.
"You sure don't sound like a preacher," Mary said.
"We have a responsibility to meet the needs of the people. We want to win souls for the master. We have to keep our message relevant," Brother Sebastian said with conviction.
"What is relevant for me?"Mary asked. "I'm pregnant, and I don't know how. I mean, really. It's no joke. I don't know how it happened. I never - even - since..." Suddenly it all came tumbling down - all of it. It caved in on Mary like an avalanche. She was buried in memories; horrible images. Things her mother's boyfriends made her do. Things even her mother did. Unspeakable. She was suffocated. She couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. She couldn't cry. She was buried alive; blocked. Something had to come out - something awful. But it couldn't. Mary felt faint; she was falling, drowning, screaming, dying - without being able to utter the slightest sound.
Brother Sebastian reached out and gently touched her shoulder, then hugged her tightly. Her head fell on his shoulder. It had to break loose - now - now - NOW! Mary's body began quivering, shaking, unstoppable - and still voiceless. She couldn't bear it any longer. At last something deep within her rose up. Her stomach like a rock; her throat constricted; her jaw locked tight. She exploded. What came from her body wasn't a scream or cry. It was a roar like a furnace, a volcano. Her knees buckled. Brother Sebastian held her more tightly, kept her from falling. And now it finally came out freely. Torrents of tears. Wailing, she clung to Brother Sebastian as a drowning man clings to a log.
"Release is the first step to healing," Brother Sebastian said. He guided her gently to a chair and sat her in it. "It's a long road, but we are here to walk it with you. Go and rest now. We'll talk about what you want to do later."
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